It is not uncommon for relationships to develop barriers over time. These barriers may be unintentional and even go unnoticed. Consider these three self-evaluative questions:
- Do you feel freedom to discuss any topic within your relationship without becoming defensive or embarrassed?
- Is your spouse the first person you turn to in celebrating victories and admitting failures?
- When conflict arises do you retreat or communicate resolution?
So you have identified one of the struggles above as something you see in your marriage. Now what?
First, help your spouse by being truthful about your emotions. In the long run, masking feelings will not help protect you or your spouse.
Second, remember you are a team. Be aware of your urge to be defensive and remind yourself you are on your spouse's side and wish to better him or her. When engaging in a difficult or embarrassing discussion with your spouse be intentional about holding eye contact throughout the conversation. It may sound trivial, but eye contact communicates that you are listening and genuinely care about what he or she is saying.